“Battle: Los Angeles” may be the worst Michael Bay movie not made by Michael Bay. And regardless of who directs a stereotypical “Michael Bay movie,” you should probably know that my recommendation for that movie can be summed up in one word: RUN!
Jonathan Liebesman directs a symphony of discordant noise and pathetic human drama without even the slightest hint that he knows he’s making a truly painful movie. It’s a nearly two-hour long (still a marathon but no “Transformers“) montage of bullets flying and strange aliens invading shot in a gritty documentary style. It has no substance, no emotional pull, no fantastic special effects, no impressive technical aspect. It’s just a waste of time.
How can I fill this obligatory third paragraph? Hmmm … I could blast Aaron Eckhart for taking two giant steps backwards from all of his independent and mainstream successes. I could ask why Michelle Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan, and Michael Peña chose this movie, but I don’t necessarily put their acting skills on a pedestal. I could ask why this movie isn’t acted solely by rappers like Ne-Yo (models might have also done this nonexistent script justice), but all the “why?” questioning won’t get me those two hours back. Maybe one of these days, I’ll learn my lesson. D /