REVIEW: Abduction

28 02 2013

A lot of people were looking to “Abduction” as a test of whether Taylor Lautner could carry a movie on his own.  Away from the comforts of the “Twilight” saga where Lautner could just rip off his shirt and no one seemed to mind, would he be a viable action star?  Or is Lautner nothing more than a set of good-looking abs, destined to have girls drooling on Tumblr for all of eternity?

The quick answer to that is no, and “Abduction” is an abysmal movie that struggles to be so bad that it’s good at times.  The ridiculous romance, the half-baked plot, and the characteristic Lautner sporadic shirtlessness definitely provide some fun moments of unintended laughter.

And most people pinned the failure of “Abduction” on Lautner.  That’s not fair.  Everyone else in this movie was just as bad.

Looking at you, Lily Collins.  My goodness gracious, she grated on my last nerve.  Maybe with enough training in an acting studio and not in a gym, Lautner could be a half-decent actor one day in the way that Channing Tatum surprised us all in “21 Jump Street.”  I don’t know that I have the same hope for Collins.

I’ll hold back on some extremely harsh words for her, but know that she tried really hard to put on her big girl panties.  However, Collins just falls face first into the pavement, and no one bothered to tell her that her face is busted up and she’s bleeding everywhere (in a strictly hypothetical sense, I mean).

Abduction

The movie boasts some other high-value actors like Sigourney Weaver, Alfred Molina, Maria Bello, and Jason Isaacs, all of whom are helpless to stop this trainwreck.  Although, maybe they could have been helpful by making their scenes count and trying to elevate the drama out of the ridiculous.

Not to mention, “Abduction” is the work of an Oscar-nominated director!  That’s right, two decades before this mockery of a movie, John Singelton was the toast of Hollywood for his debut feature “Boyz n the Hood.”  Now, after a steady decline, he’s finally hit rock bottom.

Perhaps the Academy ought to hand out a copy of “Abduction” at their nominees luncheon from now on to send a very clear message: this is the exact opposite of what we want you to do with all the notoriety our membership has bestowed upon your name.  This nomination opens up so many doors for you.  Don’t you dare take the one leading to the dollar DVD bin at the highway rest stop.  C-1halfstars

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One response

28 02 2013
ninvoid99

I remember when the film came out and there was a review by James Berandinelli who made a very good point into why the film didn’t work. If Hollywood wants to make Taylor Lautner an action star. They need to re-think everything about what they’re doing. What is the core audience for action movies? Guys. Do guys want to see Taylor Lautner? No. Plus, they don’t/won’t buy him as a badass. He’s too pretty. He always has that grunting, straining face in every moment he tries to emote. It just doesn’t work. Plus, girls will eventually get tired him once they see another cutie out there and he’ll be gone.

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